Or perhaps not. A barman in Camps Bay I was talking to on Friday had an alternative strategy, which did not involve getting up at an unfathomable hour. "Go out tonight on Long Street. Make your way to one of the clubs round there and get wrecked till about 3am. Then, ease off the pace a bit, head back to your hotel, have a shower and you'll be fine. Then, when you're on the plane, hit the free bar and get back on it."
I admired the audaciousness of the idea, and if I were ten years younger I might have attempted it, but this was never going to be a serious proposition. I was in bed by 10pm after a final meal out in Camps Bay.
The flight back was arduous. As it was a daytime flight it was difficult to get any sleep, and the 12 hours passed slowly (as 12 hours normally tend to). My experience wasn't helped by being sat next to a selfish twat who kept invading my space with his elbows. The ability to choose your seat online before a flight is a marvellous thing, but it gives you no information about who your neighbour is going to be for half of an entire day. I reckon you should be able to click on a seat to find out basic information about who is going to sit there. It would be great - hover your cursor over 33D and the words 'inconsiderate wanker' appear, 'personal hygiene problem' at 54A, 'Ipswich Town supporter' at 23B. You get the picture.
Anyone who has read even a small proportion of this blog will know that I thoroughly enjoyed my time in South Africa. It was a wonderful trip - one of the best I have ever had. I would be hard pressed to pick a favourite holiday, because they are all different forms of escapism at different points and stages of my life. Thailand in 2004 at the age of 26 was an epic two week party in surroundings that I had never experienced before, but I wouldn't want to spend 14 days continuously drunk in the same way now. Honestly. It was the perfect holiday in 2004, and for different reasons South Africa was bang on in 2012.
I fell in love with Cape Town almost as soon as I arrived. Emblazoned on the back the of the red tour buses that go round the city is the slogan 'You don't need a holiday. You need Cape Town.' As a piece of marketing, it's genius. Tourists reading it are invited to think that all the warmth and happiness they feel are nothing to with being away from the office, but due to the experience of being in such an amazing place. It's obviously a combination of both, but the words encourage you to think that Cape Town is some kind of happy pill that can change your mood and outlook on life. In other words, you want to come back again. It's certainly a more evocative and inventive way of promoting a place than simply putting the word 'visit' before its name.
South Africa is a country with many social and economic problems, but more and more people are visiting and with that comes more jobs and wider prosperity. Once you get beyond the image of crime that some people automatically associate with the place, there is something for people of all ages, backgrounds and interests to find there that will captivate them. Crime is by no means an urban myth in South Africa, and there are many areas that are very unsafe. But equally it would be wrong to believe that you are automatically going to get pulled out of your car and shot at the traffic lights.
I did a great deal of stuff in my two weeks, but there was also a lot I didn't do and see. In other words, there's plenty left for the next trip. And I definitely want there to be one.
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